Single Ladies - Put a Ring on It

by Cindy

For any of you who have ever planned a wedding or been in a wedding you are aware of all of the details that go into the wedding. After visiting India, I thought I would add my American commentary to the wedding and comment on some of the experiences we had. Check out the pictures below or on my Facebook page.

· Assuming that all of the flowers at Naveen’s wedding were real, they dropped serious money on them. Flowers may be cheaper in India than in the States, but in the States, they would have spent well north of $100K on flowers alone.

· The wedding ceremony and reception were at Jaya Gardens, an outdoor venue in Hyderabad frequently used for weddings.

· As far as the ceremony goes, there was not a procession where her father gave her away but there were some similarities.

· The ceremony began with Naveen sitting in a chair and Kranthi on the floor behind him. Both were facing the guests. As the ceremony progressed, Naveen moved to the floor but still with his back to her. Eventually he turned around and at first there was a "sheet" being held up between them by family but eventually that sheet was removed and they were on the floor facing one another and eventually side by side.

· Part of the ceremony included a time where their clothes were stitched together symbolizing they had been married.

· There were presented as husband and wife and the receiving line began at that point. They had some really sweet chairs to sit in - they looked like thrones - I think American weddings should incorporate the chairs.

· It's common (at least in the part of India where we were) for married women to wear toe rings - usually one the second toe of each foot - to indicate that they are married.

· Also, married women almost always wear sarees. There are other forms of traditional Indian dress, but if you see an Indian woman in a saree, it usually means that she is married.

· There was NO point at which Jeff and I were left alone. We were constantly attended to by a family member or a very close friend of the family. When it came time for the receiving line, we were personally escorted. When it came time to eat, we simply sat down and people served us. When it came time to join the various ceremonies, we had seats at the front every time - seats of honor. It was an amazingly kind gesture, we really were honored to be there.

· To brag on my husband for a moment, apparently Naveen tried to have Jeff be a witness on the wedding certificate. It did not happen because you have to be an Indian National but I thought it was a great honor that Naveen would consider that and ask for it.

· There were 1,700 people that came to bless Naveen and Kranthi at some point through out the week long celebration. There was food and drink at every event - an abundant amount of food and drink at every event.

· There were three photographers and three videographers at the wedding ceremony and they filmed for hours. For each of the other five events, there was at least one photographer and one videographer. I cannot begin to count the number of pictures they will review or the number of hours they will watch video. At the very least, the event is well documented. Naveen and Kranthi will have many wonderful pictures to remember this beautiful celebration.

· Indian brides usually receive gold jewelry from family and friends as gifts before the wedding. As in, a LOT of gold jewelry. Kranthi wore probably about $100K in gold at the wedding. Each day she had on different jewelry. Here is an excerpt from a January 2009 National Geographic article about gold in India:

The gold ornaments come out of the velvet boxes one by one, family heirlooms that Nagavi, a 23-year-old Indian bride, always knew she would wear on her wedding day. The eldest daughter of a coffee plantation owner in the southern Indian state of Karnataka, Nagavi grew up marveling at the weddings that mark the merger of two wealthy Indian families. But not until the morning of her own arranged wedding to the only son of another coffee plantation family does she understand just how achingly beautiful the golden tradition can be.

By the time Nagavi is ready for her wedding, the university graduate with a predilection for jeans and T-shirts has been transformed into an Indian princess, shimmering in gold. An exquisitely crafted hairpiece is so heavy—five and a half pounds of gold—that it pulls her head back. Three gold necklaces and a dozen bangles act as effective counterweights. Wrapped in an 18-foot-long sari woven with thread dipped in gold, Nagavi walks slowly out of her home, trying to keep her balance as she tosses rice over her head in a traditional gesture of farewell.

The gold treasures Nagavi wears—along with the jewelry and saris packed in the trunk of the SUV taking her to the wedding hall—are not a traditional dowry. In this circle of coffee growers around the town of Chikmagalur, unlike in many poorer parts of the country, it is considered unseemly for a groom's family to make explicit demands. "This is seen as my 'share' of the family wealth," says Nagavi, gazing at the mil­lions of dollars of gold jewelry. As with any Indian wedding, the gold also serves to display the value she brings to the union. "With daughters, you have to start saving gold from the day they are born," says Nagavi's father, C. P. Ravi Shankar. "It's important to marry them off well."

Nowhere is the gold obsession more culturally entrenched than it is in India. Per capita income in this country of a billion people is $2,700, but it has been the world's runaway leader in gold demand for several decades. In 2007, India consumed 773.6 tons of gold, about 20 percent of the world gold market and more than double that purchased by either of its closest followers, China (363.3 tons) and the U.S. (278.1 tons). India produces very little gold of its own, but its citizens have hoarded up to 18,000 tons of the yellow metal—more than 40 times the amount held in the country's central bank.

India's fixation stems not simply from a love of extravagance or the rising prosperity of an emerging middle class. For Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, and Christians alike, gold plays a central role at nearly every turning point in life—most of all when a couple marries. There are some ten million weddings in India every year, and in all but a few, gold is crucial both to the spectacle and to the culturally freighted transaction between families and generations. "It's written into our DNA," says K. A. Babu, a manager at the Alapatt jewelry store in the southwestern city of Cochin. "Gold equals good fortune."

· After the wedding ceremony, Kranthi returned to her home to gather her belongings and then her female family members escorted her to Naveen’s home. Considering how long everything lasts, this happened at about 3AM. Oddly enough, Kranthi's visa is not ready yet so Naveen is returning to America without her and she will come on December 17th. After Naveen leaves India, Kranthi will return to her family home and stay there until she leaves for America.

We were very blessed to have attended and there was not a moment that went by that we didn't know that they were blessed to have us there. We have some memories that will last a lifetime and look forward to seeing Naveen and Kranthi again - but who knows where that will be!!